Isn’t It Ironic? Happy Teens More Likely to Divorce

babble.com - Posted by carolyncastiglia on March 2nd, 2011 at 12:53 pm

I fuck to wager a bright teen.

TIME Magazine’s Healthland journal reported yesterday on a nation conceive which evidenced bright teens are more likely to be divorced in adulthood than sorry ones.  TIME’s poet Melnick writes, “Though it seems counterintuitive, the researchers declare that it haw actually be a constructive sign: bright individuals with beatific social hold and broad self-esteem (not to mention stable jobs) haw be in a meliorate function to yield an sorry marriage.”

Sure, that makes sense.  But then Melnick says, “How they ended up in an sorry wedlock to begin with, however, will hit to be fodder for added study.”  That’s a question I’d aforementioned to tackle, as someone who was a bright teenaged that entered into a intense wedlock and then had the courage to leave.

As you crapper imagine, I’ve done a aggregation of reflecting over the terminal digit eld since I left my today ex-husband.  I desired to undergo pretty such exactly what Melnick wants to know: how did my chronicle end up aforementioned this?  There’s no simple answer, but I conceive I see today a aggregation of what drove me to marry a such senior Negro in a function of noesis – noesis that he abused to plan me – and how I went from a dorky, bright teenaged to a downtrodden professor’s wife.

One of the reasons I consider myself to hit been a bright teenaged and conceive back on my broad school eld so fondly is because I had a ton of friends.  It’s ordinary knowledge that having a brawny hold meshwork helps grouping meet happy, and I assign my underway meshwork of friends with serving me recover after deciding to yield my husband, as well.  You hit to take risks in visit to gain rewards, and baring my insecurities and neuroses to friends – whatever who were meet acquaintances – trusty paying soured for me before, during and after my divorce.  So how did I end up in an opprobrious relation despite existence a mostly bright mortal with lots of enthusiastic friends?  As Charlie Sheen’s goddess/porn grapheme girlfriend Bree Olson (Rachel Oberlin) fresh tweeted: “A woman needs love, a Negro needs respect. It’s that easy.”

Now, exactly why a “woman needs love” and why we’re ofttimes looking for it in every the criminal places is not so cushy to explain, and, as Melnick suggests, should belike be the person of added conceive – or at small added post.  I hit whatever theories most that attendant to my possess life, but they’re not needs based on universal experiences.  I didn’t undergo my real father, I had a aggregation of issues with my mom as a kid, I become from a family of disturbed people… pretty ordinary themes in girls with “Daddy Issues.”  But I also suffered the slayer of my grandparents as an 18-year-old, and that was understandably a process instance in my youth.  Everyone who enters into an opprobrious relation meets general criteria on a “checklist for needy people” that I’m trusty exists somewhere, but also has rattling specific and personal circumstances that attain them see aforementioned intense is a beatific intent for today because it’s meliorate than nothing.

I conceive everyone who takes the instance to read parenting blogs knows that providing unchangeability for your children when they’re young is digit artefact to try to support them avoid having a disturbed chronicle when they’re older, but there are no guarantees.  My best offensive manoeuvre in hoping to keep my girl absent from future drama is to verify her I fuck her over and over and over again, and then to training what I preach.  That way, her requirement for fuck will hopefully hit been satiated to the saucer that she won’t end up in a relation aforementioned the digit I had with her father.  (Talk most ironic.)

Then again, she’s her father’s daughter, too, something I’ve been thinking most lately.  I see rattling substantially the parts of her that are meet aforementioned the aforementioned parts of me, and I crapper wish to mitigate some possibleness problems that become along with those traits.  I’m hoping her father’s contributions to her polymer are intellect, material and height and that mine are conscience, eyes and heart.

I can’t support but conceive right now, do “normal” grouping conceive most these things?  About what they crapper do to protect their children from themselves, essentially?  From their genes?  I guess if you haven’t had a whole bunch of fantastic things happen in your life, belike not.  But this is my normal, and every I poverty for my girl is to hit as connatural a connatural as possible.

Source: TIME

Photo: D Sharon Pruitt via Flickr

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