If you're a Right-winger-- or a Left-winger-- you belike watched FOX News' discourse prior to this afternoon's Superbowl. FOX personality Bill O'Reilly (last seen wondering most the moon, the tides, and how God fits into it all) sat down with the underway Commander-in-Chief for an inner discourse before today's big game, and we've place together a handy itemize for every the Right-wingers discover there who aren't trusty what they're questionable to be provoked about. Read on for the list, Right-wingers and gentle Examine readers...
Greetings, Right-wingers! We don't ordinarily pay a lot of instance talking to digit another-- you impact no ingest for videos wherein idiots intend struck in the testicles with blunt objects, and I impact no ingest for your endlessly acidic-bordering-on-racist bunk and "The sky is falling!" attitude-- but today I conceive I've figured discover a way for us to pay whatever instance together. As you strength impact heard, FOX dispatched Bill O'Reilly to the White House to discourse our President (Barack Obama, in housing you weren't aware) prior to the Superbowl this afternoon, and the results were...interview-y.
See, the discourse itself didn't really consent whatever startling newborn information, and modify when O'Reilly was understandably attempting to manipulate the President's feathers (y'know, like the time where he persisted in telling Obama that grouping "hated" him) the Commander-in-Chief kept it cool. Chances are, you've seen the discourse and now you're stumped as to what you should be provoked about. There's always something, of course, but what is it this time? Unlike whatever interviews, appearances, or speeches, Bill O'Reilly's Superbowl discourse with President Obama doesn't directly substance up whatever manifest things to be maddened about...or does it?
That's what we're here for. You're angry, but you don't undergo what you're provoked most (y'know, moreso than usual). You saw the President on the TV machine, and you undergo that effectuation you're questionable to be outraged (Glenn Beck told you so-- he modify cried most it!), but you can't quite place your digit on what you're having a fit over. Relax: I've got you covered. Below, you'll find our itemize of the crowning fivesome things you, too, crapper be maddened most re: Bill O'Reilly's discourse with President Obama (you crapper also analyse discover the discourse over there on the left, meet in housing you missed it). Ready to determine where your emotion should go? Good, let's intend started...
1. OBAMA REFUSED TO EXPLAIN THE THING ABOUT THE MOON
Because you're a Righty, you heard most this brouhaha that erupted on Bill O'Reilly's show a whatever weeks ago. You remember: Bill O'Reilly claimed that the moon-- and the tides-- evidenced the cosmos of God. I mean, how else would you vindicate the fact that we impact a tidal grouping and a moon? Science?! That's absurd, sir, and I conceive you're belike meet high. Real Righties undergo that there's a candid unification between God, the moon, and our oceans...and that only Bill O'Reilly is Negro (or talking head) sufficiency to call the slug discover on it. Stupid moon. Always movement there, so smug.
But President Obama straight-up avoided the flooded issue. Here was Obama's quantity to vindicate to the world-- and to Bill O'Reilly-- that he's known every along that a unification between God, the moon, and the tides exists...and he didn't verify it. What are you trying to hide, Obama? Why won't you verify the actuality most the slug and its relationship with God? What are you afraid of? Only Bill O'Reilly knows.
2. OBAMA DIDN'T WEAR A TIE! AND HE'S THE PRESIDENT!
Here's digit I'm trusty you've already intellection of, but we're feat to itemize it here, anyway. Y'know, meet in housing there are whatever another Righties discover there who didn't notice. I dislike to be the digit to fortuity this horrifying news to them, but here's the situation: President Obama-- that's right: President Obama-- didn't dress a bond during his discourse with Bill O'Reilly. I know, I was outraged by this, too.
You and I undergo that the President must always dress a tie, and that not act a bond is a candid communication that President Obama A) hates America, B) wants to kill your Grandma, C) is a info Communist, D) is also a info Kenyan, E) is also a info Muslim fundamentalist, and F) that it also indicates that President Obama has no attitude for Bill O'Reilly, FOX News, or the dweller people. That's a flooded bunch of reasons to be angry, guys, so you meliorate intend started now. Write whatever provoked comments most it; you'll see better.
3. OBAMA DIDN'T SUPPORT EITHER THE PACKERS OR THE STEELERS
When asked who he intellection strength win today's big game, President Obama declined to answer, locution that he obstructed wondering when the Chicago Bears forfeited their quantity at playing in the Super Bowl. Well, I don't conceive I requirement to verify you that this effectuation that President Obama hates America. I mean, it's obvious.
4. OBAMA BLINKED 124 TIMES DURING THE INTERVIEW
This wasn't an unsual amount of blinking, digit way or another: not likewise much, not likewise little. But as we every know, someone who blinks exactly 124 nowadays over the instruction of an discourse is a Communist. This is science, people-- though not the aforementioned power that explains the tides, status change, or evolution-- so don't modify conceive most arguing with the logic here. But that's not the poorest part.
The poorest conception is this: If you countenance extra carefully, you'll see that Obama's 124 "blinks" are actually morse cipher that spells discover the phrase: "I-H-A-T-E-A-M-E-R-I-C-A-A-N-D-W-A-N-T-T-O-D-E-S-T-R-O-Y-I-T-P-R-A-I-S-E-A-L-L-A-H". If you don't conceive me, rewatch the video on the left and count the blinks. I dare you to verify me I'm criminal on this one. spaceman Beck will impact a flooded breakdown of the blinks-- and what it every means-- on his blackboard tomorrow salutation on The spaceman Beck All-Crying Variety Hour.
5. OBAMA ANSWERED QUESTIONS THAT BILL O'REILLY ASKED HIM
All along, us Righties impact been expecting Obama to do his typical "political fatcat" thing: to not respond a azygos discourse that Bill O'Reilly asks, to avoid the truth, and to mostly move liquid until the instance alotted for the discourse ran out. Well, you're never gonna conceive this, but Obama actually answered the questions that Bill O'Reilly asked him. Seriously: Bill O'Reilly asked Obama questions, and he meet sat there...answering 'em. Like that's what we wanted him to do or something.
The flooded abstract is a galdarned outrage, my friends.Â
So, there you impact it: fivesome dead reasonable reasons to be completely infuriated at President Obama on Superbowl Sunday. He thinks he's so smart, doesn't he? What with his rising approval ratings and his attempts to attain life meliorate for Americans. It's a shame. Really, watching Obama during his discourse with Bill O'Reilly, every I could conceive most was how such meliorate everything would be if wife Palin were in office. Or, meliorate yet, if we had Dubya back. Weren't things so such meliorate when Dubya was in charge? Those were the days.
In housing you've missed our another Superbowl Sun coverage, here's what's been feat on:
Here's the Captain America trailer.Â
Here's the Super 8 trailer.
Here's the Transformers 3 lodging (which sucks).
Oh, and here's video of Christina Aguilera mangling the National Anthem.
And, finally, here's the lodging for Cowboys and Aliens, which was pretty cool.
Stay adjusted for more, Slappy.
Stay adjusted for more funny videos, news, reviews, interviews, and more from Comedy Examiner HQ in the nearby future, folks. We've got every behavior of nonsense to ready you informed and entertained during the week, so impact the 'Subscribe' fix up crowning to intend every forthcoming Comedy Examiner articles delivered straightforward to your inbox, liberated of charge, the time they're published...including whatever of our forthcoming Superbowl-related updates.
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